Feel so LOST

No, she is NOT.. no, she wasn't a cry baby at all. Now everything seems opposite.

She sat back in the chair and looked at her friend, letting her legs dangle above the tile flooring. She just wished it would have turned out differently, you know? She thought if she met him at a different time, or they both were older or they could've met somewhere else, it could have worked they way she wanted it to be. Maybe she would'nt be sitting telling her friend how much she misses his silly laugh and his beautiful smile or his hair and how it was always all over the place. Her friend said, "I don't think he brushes his hair"  And then she replied , Yet that was the one thing I liked him". He was crazy , but so I was. I.. am . Still. He brought the best out of me, though i miss him every single day. She laughed 
and teared at the same time. ;)

The lucky one

Leaning close, I listen to his heart beat and watch his chest rise & fall. This moment will be the ones I will remember, I told myself. I will memorize the curves and arches of his determined face. I will be able to tap out the rhythm of his heart and hum the pattern of his breathing. I can't let go of something so simply beautiful as the world around us gets so ugly and begins to tarnish us. I refuse to give up.

Thoughts are too much to bear

Her thoughts are brutal. They're vicious, mean and pick out every flaw she have. Stop . She is beating herself up. Her heart whispered. She tried to calm herself but it's no use. Her mind wins over her heart. The thoughts are too much to bear, too much to handle. Her heart became heavy and she needs to remind herself to breathe. She needs to remind herself every day that she is okay, that everything is okay. Clearly knowing that IT'S NOT, at all. Her eyes become weary and she can't seems to stop crying, wondering why?

Tears stains the page

I remember the feelings I had towards you when we first started talking. I thought you were amazing. I remember talking on the phone with you and telling stories. I remember you telling me you loved not being commited. I disagreed but because I really loved you I never wanted to mess anything up anymore , I didnt want to lose someone like you , you made my heart flutter and i'd always get butterflies when i see your name pop up on my screen. There was no better feeling. And i miss that 😔

Infinite & Beyond

I would want to walk through some of this valleys with you. Together we will search the corners of possibilities, hold hands when the shadows seem to overtake us and celebrate when we find happiness. I intend to be a daily companion in your crisis. I wish to be a part of your beautiful soul. I may not be the best but as long as im blessed to be in your life I vow to bring out the transcendent in you through thick and thin.
Happy 24th handsome 😘

There are times he gives me goosebumps

Even passion comes with some risk. Know thats timing is important. As long as you hold a true passion in your heart, it will not fade. Remember life often test you, but life itself is not a test. Its a real deal !
My sister is a wonderful person. She thought of me as a miracle. She taught me to be an independent thinker. I remember her telling me, You're a beautiful soul. It's what you do with this that matters. I didnt understand why God would take away every person who i wanted so much to be in my life forever. My mum usually tells me if you find good souls , keep them close because the good souls dont realize that they are beautiful.

"I could barely call him as my boyfriend because we rarely hangout. He is a workaholic. He was dedicated, but his work schedule left little time for me. At times we go out as he drives car he pulls me close to him if not he will be staring at his phone. Thats how we spend our quality time". 😔

Im going back to my town tomorrow. He hugged me and planted a chaste kiss on my lips. Have a safe trip. He went back home. While I was lying on bed, I got a text from him.
           
            HIM: You looked pretty today

I would have normally come back with something like 'You weren't so bad yourself' because at least he was trying and I felt like he meant well.

           ME : Oh really? Maybe you dont
                    know what real beauty is.
                    Why you went back home
                    early?
          HIM : I have too. Im sorry. I was
                    getting late. Have a safe
                    trip. See you when you get
                     back.
I didnt respond. I just fell asleep thinking I'm all i've got. Thats okay. His flaws lights up him differently. I fall for him when he isnt paying attention because I think thats when he is himself, thats when he is beautiful and to me thats better than any picture

Scent of a moment dream

All her hopes and dreams vanished into thin air. The soundless empty hole where her heart once lived was cold. Was there any hope that she could avoid sharing? Couldnt she just disappear?
"Ahemm". someone cleared the throat.  Excuse me,girl. Are you okay? the woman persisted.
I lifted my head. I tried to fake my smile to that woman. I watched that woman warily, her words ringing in my ears. The realization chilled her. I tried to speak, but my lips were glued together. I told that woman. Wait, what if i want to take a nap awhile? Her eyes widened as she backed away. The woman seemed speechless and shook her head.
As the woman walked away, I forced myself to close my eyes without pain for once.
The shadows of the world around me were hazy blur. I felt dizzy almost like I drank half the bottle of my dad's wine from his shelve. Then something touched me. I jumped backwards. Relax , girl. It's me. He appeared. He wore the blue and red checked shirt, his cheeky smile made his face a little too handsome.
     "How are you feeling?" He asked as he clasped my shoulder. Dizzy?
I replied "hangover"
He smiled. I went totaly mad for awhile. I even lost myself. No wait, he lost me in his sparkling eyes and gaze. The sound of his voice was intoxicating.
I lifted my head. The world around me was in focus now. I felt excited to be back. At that moment I realized how I took life in general for granted when I was alive. But now back on earth, after her death. I felt immortal. I felt my mind ease with every passing moment. It wasn't so bad after all, without him it was different no matter how many planet I travel. I looked up into his grinning face. Dont worry,i'm here with you. I'm the hottest thing on earth,baby !
Sure thing,hot stuff.. I laughed with blush on my cheek.. 😘